Look. This is going to be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever tried to explain because my very being- my opus– is involved.
As I sit under the light of the full moon, back to the tree in my front yard, the very pulse of earth is moving within me. I am accutely aware of which trees have sprung from the seeds planted by the parent tree at my back. The night is still and yet it’s teeming with life. It is Ru’ahh- the breath of G-d I feel moving through all things but how did this happen? At what point did I become aware of Her presence and abandon all else on my journey? Where is the line between Christian and Jew in my mind? At what point did I cease to be a “mainstream” Christian?
The library unearthed at Nag Hammadi completely changed my perspective on the life and message of Christ. His own promise of the gift of Ru’ahh HakoDesh sent me within. After all, didn’t He urge us to sit in a closet and pray? Then a Rosicrucian text written in 1923 quoted the Gospel of Peace 30 years before its “discovery.”
Years of meditation- constant recital of the 72 triplets– later and The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz was given to me. A Frater from my order handed me his personal copy full of annotations and footnotes. This seemingly simple doctrine follows a similar pattern of the one found in the Apocalypse of John, what modern Christians know as Revelations. In it he speaks of communing with Sophia- Solomons Woman Wisdom. After this encounter he is sent on a mystical journey to witness a wedding. This mystical experience is one I recognized instantly having long since meditated in Her presence. I sought Her like silver just as Solomon suggested and found Her within.
Anyways, as I read of Christian Rosenkreutz taking this spiritual journey I couldn’t help but notice how blended the Rosicrucian path actually is. Here is a doctrine where the spiritual journey is divided into a seven day journey-referencing Genesis– to attend a Wedding on an evening before Easter- referencing, not only the Gospels, but the Wedding at Cana as well. It’s Alchemical in nature urging us to remember Hermès teachings and alludes to Platos Cave- the metaphysics behind Greek philosophy. He cuts the bread. That only happens in 9 books of the New Testament. There are also 9 Lords in attendance at this Wedding. These are the nine mystical texts of the New Testament.(full disclosure at a later date)
Genesis is tied into the story as a way to connect the dots between these seemingly different paths- all of which lead to One. “G-d said” appears 10 times. “G-d made” appears 3 times. “G-d saw” appears 7 times. The word G-d is used 12 times. 10 sefirot. 3 horizontal paths. 7 vertical paths. 12 diagonal paths. This is the Tree of Life. It serves as the basic framework for how Christian Rosenkreutz made it to this Castle- what I understand as a mountain Temple- to commune with the Creator.
There are Four Paths mentioned that one can take to achieve this goal. Couple that with several references meant to imply a connection between the Emerald Tablet and the Tree of Life and it’s no wonder I set out to understand why. Why would a Christian mystic explain how movement from Yesod, Hod, and Netzach moving from below to above correlates to the three step process of the Emerald Tablet? I mean, even the first day of Rosenkreutz journey ends painting the 4 step descent, 3 step ascent, and the one step re-descent. Why? What do the Emerald Tablet and Kabbalah have to do with what Christ taught? The question drove me mad.
The Wedding at Cana was the first of 7 miracles to be taken as signs of the Messiah. Specifically, the lawful Union of man and woman- or the reconciliation of polarity. The same polarity reconciled after 6 days of Creation through use of duality described in Genesis. It’s an allegory. Christ was teaching us how to reconcile our seemingly dualistic nature. The changing of water into wine implies the integration of our vehicles of consciousness- body and mind, waking mind and Spirit.
Even the number of disciplines outlined by Rosenkreutz isn’t merely a play on the 12 disciples. It’s 12 disciplines in three groups of four. Emanation, Creation, Formation, and Action. There’s no getting around going from below to above requires merkava- vehicles of consciousness. At the level of Assiah/Action, it’s easy to see this vehicle because we touch, taste, see, smell and hear with it, but as we move beyond that it gets decidedly more difficult. When we approach Atzilut/Emanation where we have no vehicle of consciousness because we are consciousness, what then? Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh. That same “I am” that manifests in the first word of the 10 commandments is the Divine expressing itself in the metaphor of Creature. That was Sophia/Chochmah manifesting within. Years of meditating at the Temple within my heart had taught me to trust the breath of G-d beyond anything else.
There was no escaping this truth. Prayer. Meditation. Study. Living a simple life. All of these disciplines had moved me to a place where I needed guidance. The Hermeticists of my order had much more in common with the Sorcerers of Kemet- Biblical Egyptians- than they did with those faithful to the Law. What could the descendants of Isis cults who genuinely believe we can reach the point of being gods teach me about ascending to the throne room of the one true G-d? Nothing.
Now I never abandoned Christ in all this. Even as I dove into deep meditative periods with heavy study almost never touching the Bible- Christian Rosenkreutz bridegroom I was still aware of how Christ is involved. See, if Chochmah/Wisdom is waves of energy, Binah/Understanding is form. With Christ as my template- the One manifested in the World of Formation– I chose to live in love. To be “the light that shone in the darkness.” But what Church would understand this journey? What Christian could hear this tale and not label me a heretic? Aside from one Anglican priest I had been completely isolated from the entire realm of Christianity.
So I did the only thing I could do. I turned to the source of this Ancient Mystery and joined a Kabbalah study group. I am a Gentile amidst the Chosen seeking Wisdom above all. Am I treated differently within the confines of said group? No. I came to this path after decades of prayer and meditation and it is doubtful this is the first lifetime I have spent in such a manner. I didn’t wake up yesterday and say “let me jack this culture and make it my own.” They know that because mystics are measured on what’s within more than they’ll ever be measured by appearance, race, or…
Trust and believe that every post I write comes from a place of love and I never intended to hurt or offend anyone. Mysticism had never been a game or a fad to me. This life cycle is one of dedication and servitude to G-d and humanity. That is the fulfillment of the Law- to love G-d with all of my mind and soul and to love my neighbor as I love myself. Humility may not always be my strong suit but my approachability runs high. You can always reach out to me with questions and ask why or how. Even in the mix of frustration I will gladly address anyone with the respect and dignity I would like to receive. Hehe. To receive.
That’s all I got. Please feel free to pass this along to others or open a dialogue. What’s the point of blogging if there’s no actual exchange between self and community? May we all grow together.