Ellen Howard, “Between Storms,”

I recently had a conversation with my oldest daughter’s Mother that rocked me to my core. She possesses a sort of brutal honesty I’ve come to appreciate and despise all in the same breath. While she always admonishes with love and wants me to prepare for whatever storms may come I’m not always prepared to hear it.

As I digested the ins and outs of what needs to be done I found myself reflecting on my relationship with pretty lies.

How many of us have stayed in toxic relationships because we needed to believe the other person would see our worth and change?

There are two pretty lies being told here. First, we have to be secure enough to love ourselves and walk away. Second, people only change if they see a flaw in their actions and that’s not up to us.

The truth is hardly ever comfortable. It challenges us to grow and evolve. We tend to be creatures of routine and it takes guts to break those habits and beliefs that shackle us.

Naturally, brutal honesty can rock our foundations and make us take a serious look at ourselves. We don’t always like what we see. When flaws in our thinking and emotional attachments rear their heads we want to run the other direction. But… Without struggle there is no growth.

Our modern minds are gravitating towards a “positive vibes only” mentality more and more these days. While the silver lining can be found in almost any situation the fact of the matter is we learn from mistakes. Our heartbreak teaches us to be more compassionate to others. Financial insecurity shows us to be kind to strangers who struggle. We grow through what we go through.

Honesty forces us to take responsibility for the part we play in our lives. We begin to see how everything leans and one action leads to another. It puts us back in the driver’s seat and takes us off cruise control. We become aware of self sabotage and unhealthy patterns of thinking.

Once we’ve accepted our own flaws we can choose to react instead of responding. Pretty lies deny us that gift and hinder our spiritual growth.

So, what pretty lies do you tell yourself?

What fear do you buy into?

How much could you accomplish just by silencing those voices?

You are loved. You are valued. You have a light within your being the world desperately needs. Now, get out there and shine brightly.

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