Sometimes I observe my own state vaguely aware of how my own sanity hangs by a thread. I note how staying indoors and shutting out society won’t make it go away, and just like that… I. Pull the string. Thoughts of crippling debt, a slipping mortgage, an empty pantry and a gasless car take hold. I acknowledge the sound of silence. I accept it means my children are no longer able to take the indoors and have wandered out into the neighborhood. My Misses must be in the other room, possibly scrolling through some social media feed searching for signs of life. Yet here I sit.
“N!%%A, get off yo @$$ if you plan to be rich.” Thanks Tupac I needed to hear that. Unfortunately, I have no desire to be rich. I set out on this post-prison path with a passion to help others. Public speaking? Not now. Thoughtful internet posts? Sure. That does mean I can continue to sit here and hide while the world explodes right?
A part of me is secretly waiting for this corona fiasco to turn into a government shakedown where the executive branch seizes complete control. A world where I scream “Hail Caesar!” every time Trump hits the stage. I used to think it would be cool to live in a war torn Mad Max reality. Now that it’s looking like a possible outcome I’m not so thrilled.
Yet here I sit. Knowing I don’t have a compromised immune system and could easily survive. Knowing that I have a better chance of winning the lottery than catching this zoonotic nonsense. Too bad I’m too freaked out to drive to the store to buy a lottery ticket and test that theory.
So, what do you do? Go outside, duh! Break up the funk and face down the fears. How so? I reminded myself of the truth. The world isn’t ending. We will survive this whole dilemma and wake up tomorrow. Most of us at least. Either way, locking ourselves away will not make this stop so we might as well hit the open road, breathe in the fresh air. Wave at a neighbor. In a word; drive.
Today, the family and I ended up by Indian Creek after seeing a bit of Texas history in Aurora. We ate at a smokehouse. Well, more of a smoke shack if you would but it was a phenomenal experience all the same No one out that way had us stand six feet back while we ordered our food either. Our kids started playing tag with another random girl while other families snagged channel cats out of the creek. It was nice. I learned something in the process as well- I’m moving to the country. Y’all are all crazy- Seriously though, life is too short to spend hiding from the things we fear. Life has to be lived.